F*&#@ School Pictures

I'm sorry. I try really hard (and it isn't easy) to keep this blog rated at least PG-13. But sometimes the F-word just happens to be the word that most accurately sums up my day. In this case, it seems to sum up my entire week.

Today was School Picture Day at the daycare. I naively assumed it would be great fun to take Zoey in (on my day off) and have her participate in her class photo. Teacher Amy informed me the picture would take place at 9:00 a.m. Awesome. We arrived a few minutes early to...total and utter chaos. Kids everywhere. Teachers trying to keep things organized, while filling out slips of paper for each kid to take back to the photographer. That's right--individual photos first, THEN class photos. Not so awesome.

We went back with Teacher Melina to get in line for the individual photos. Zoey began having a meltdown as soon as we got in line behind four other children. "Bye-bye, Mommy! Bye-bye!". Clearly she was not thrilled to be at school, whether Mommy was staying with her or not. The meltdown only intensified when it was finally her turn. She was NOT going to cooperate with the very talented and patient photographer, unless I was parked securely beside her. Not wanting this to be an all-day affair, I sat her on my lap after the photographer assured me she could photo-shop me out of the picture later. Whatever. Because really? We were just here for the group shot.

Which didn't take place until 10:35.

By that point, Zoey wanted milk, and she wanted to go bye-bye, neither of which were viable options at the moment. (We'd been waiting an hour and a half. She was GOING to be in the fucking class photo if it were the last thing we accomplished in the day.)

The kids were placed in two lines. The only one holding still on his seat was Zoey's beloved best friend, Ari. Zoey was sitting directly in front of Adley, Rebecca's daughter. Because nobody was wanting to cooperate, Teacher Melina sent someone back to the classroom for the M&M's. When the candy arrived, Zoey got so excited she leaped out of her seat and flung her arms back in the air, making direct contact with Adley's face. This sent Adley in to hysterics, complete with full-on ultrasonic screaming. Zoey looked like she didn't know what to do for a moment, then she decided crying might be the way to go. Rebecca went to hold Adley and tried standing with her in the back of the photo. All tiny eyes were on Adley, not the photographer. Things were quickly spiraling out of control.

And that's when E.R.L. arrived on the scene and made the following announcement: "Well, let's just try another group for now and we'll bring these kids back later".

What. The. Fuck.

"Oh no," I said. "We're toast after this is over. We've been waiting a LOOONG time, and we're not coming back to do this later."

I mean, seriously? We had been told photos would be at 9:00. They didn't actually happen until 10:30. Shit happens, I get that, BUT COME ON.

At any rate, I'll be amazed if any of the 2-year-old class photos turn out. And I don't really care, either. The whole experience set the tone for a very crabby day, and taught me that School Picture Day certainly isn't worth sacrificing a day off for--next time, if it falls on a day that Zoey is already at school, great. If not, too fucking bad.