Fake it 'till you make it.

This is my new philosophy in life.

Here are some good examples just from today that illustrate the good ol' Fake It philosophy:

1. Wake Zoey up at 6:10 a.m. and tell her it's time to get ready for school. She looks at me and asks "I go Abby?". (Translation: "I'm going to Adley's, right?".) I wasn't surprised, as this has been our routine the past few weeks. Unfortunately, Adley spiked a 103 degree fever yesterday (compliments of Zoey, most likely) and will not be going to preschool today. That means I will be dropping Zoey off with E.R.L. bright and early. I tell Zoey "No Adley today, sweetie. Adley is sick. So you get to go to school early! Which is going to be SO much fun!". I'm totally faking it and she's not buying it, and replies "no 'cool". I put her in the car anyway.

2. Arrive at daycare at 6:35 to find total chaos, which is abnormal for this hour of the day. The gym, where the kids generally congregate, is "wet". Whether this means slightly damp floors or damaged from flooding, I'm not sure, and can't get any details as E.R.L. and the other early teacher are running around frantically trying to get the lunch room set up for the kids to play in instead. Another mom and I stand at the door uncertainly with our kids, watching the confusion, we reassure our kids that everything is okay and they will have a spot to play in soon. Zoey does not care where they set up shop, and has assumed Tree Monkey Position with all available limbs wrapped tightly around Mommy. I finally sit her down at the lunch table with her oatmeal that I have heated up prior to arrival, and tell her how much fun her day is going to be. She'll get to play all morning! Then Teacher Melina will get here, and she'll go to preschool! What fun, Zoey!

3. I leave at 6:45 after literally prying my clinging child from my body, all the while calling in a Fake Happy Voice that she's going to have a GREAT day. Right. Because we're off to a FABULOUS start. E.R.L., in a rare show of kindness, holds Zoey as I leave and tries to distract her.

4. I slide in to work at 6:58, as per usual, just in time to clock in. I find that I am working with The Master of Incompetence most of the day. While I'm not fond of any of the doctors I work with at this particular hospital, this one is truly the worst. I dig deep in my reservoir of Fake Cheerfulness and try my best to get along with him. ("Sure, I'd be HAPPY to help this 400 pound patient make multiple position changes on this teeny tiny stretcher while sedated, all so that you can flail around in vain for an hour working at a procedure you won't even be able to finish! Happy to help!") By noon I have a raging stress-headache that I drown, of course, in my 20 ounce Diet Coke. Shut up.

5. Kendra has picked Zoey up from daycare at noon, thankfully, and I leave the hospital around 4:00 to go pick her up. Kendra reports that Zoey has had an off-day, crying and asking for me at naptime. Upon my arrival, Zoey immediately picks up where she has left off this morning and resumes her Wrapped On Mommy stance. Something is up, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

6. The ah-ha! moment comes around 6 p.m. when Zoey begins throwing up in my lap. She's never done this before and instantly begins to cry, which does nothing for the barfing she can't seem to stop. And while I can hardly keep from gagging, I reassure her that it's okay, she's okay, she just has an icky tummy...I clean her up, disengage myself from her for 2 minutes, and run downstairs to change my shirt. This proves to be a mistake, as I am only clean and non-smelly for 20 minutes before Barfing: Round 2 sets in. While in my mind I am trying to deal with the idea that THIS will be my life for the next six months--a child who can't go one week without some kind of nasty bug that leaves us under house arrest for days on end--I still reassure my poor, sick little baby that everything is alright. Mommy isn't going anywhere...everything is okay.

And, in the end, that proves to be true. We're okay. Sometimes faking it through a day is the best you can do, and that certainly seems to be the case today.