Setting: Our bedroom. Sunday night, the eve of Bryan's first day at his REAL job as a chiropractor!
Bryan: Hey, can you iron this shirt for me? And does this tie match the shirt and pants?
Me: Um, yeah. I think Stacy and Clinton would approve. But hey, is that a stain on the front of the pants?
Bryan: Oh. Yeah. Damn, I need some new clothes.
Me: I know. Here, I'll put Spray N Wash on them, but you have to pick new pants. And wait...give me that shirt. *sniff* Is this shirt even clean?
Bryan: Yeah. I mean, I think so. Why are you sniffing the armpits of my shirt?
Me: Because you have this HORRIBLE habit of thinking your shirts are clean, hanging them all sloppy back in the closet, when in reality they smell like you may or may not have died in them.
(walking to closet to further inspect shirt line-up)
(pulling out shirt after stinky shirt)
Me: Bryan! Seriously! Are ANY of your shirts clean?!?
Bryan: YES! Quit smelling all of them! Nobody will notice!
Me: Dude. You are a CHIROPRACTOR. You are going to have people routinely twisted into pretzel shapes with their FACE in your ARMPIT. You can not go to work smelling like this!
Bryan: Ugh, okay. This one is clean. And these pants. They're fine.
(starting to iron shirt)
Me: And while we're on the subject of a new wardrobe, let's be picking out some wrinkle free shirts and pants, okay? Because if you think I'm going to be ironing for you every night at 9:00? You're crazy. (Leaning down to more closely inspect shirt) Hey. This is covered in...cat hair? Bryan? ARE ANY OF YOUR CLOTHES CLEAN???
I am wondering if every doctor and his wife has had a similar conversation the night before he transitions from poor, starving college student to poor, starving doctor.
As I type this, Bryan and Zoey are at the Men's Wearhouse, getting Bryan fitted for some new pants. I sent Zoey to help him color coordinate, mainly because I myself didn't want to leave the house in my pajama pants. Stacy and Clinton? You're welcome.
3 comments:
I love the idea of Zoey helping him color coordinate! I go through the same thing with my husband, even though he works at a bookstore. Because he is behind a counter all day he thinks it is appropriate to wear pants with stains and tears--sort of a news anchor approach to life. I do not approve.
HAHAHA! oh..I love this..catching my breath.. I love how I trust Zoey's fashion sense over Bryan's. :)
Have you considered going back to the color-coordinated scrubs like before?! It avoids a lot of confusion...
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