Daycare drop-off has been a bit emotional lately, with far more tears and clinginess than is normal for Zoey. I am chalking this up to the fact that I had a five day stretch of days off last week (hello, abbreviated vacation, you were so wonderful for us!). Anyway, a typical morning of late has included peeling my child off my body and handing her over to Ms. Yvonne, with promises to come get her as soon as I leave work. Yesterday, with arms wound tightly around my neck, Zoey whispered in my ear 'come get me early today, Mommy'. I promised her that, if our schedules were light, I would skip the Y after work and head straight to pick her up instead.
Eight hours later, all our procedures were finished and all patients were out the door, early! Amazing how refreshing an eight hour shift can feel, compared to ten hours. And all day, in the back of my mind, I had heard Zoey's little voice in my ear, begging me to come back for her. My gym bag was calling my name...I could so head for the Y and still be back in plenty of time for daycare pick-up...but if a ten hour day seems long to me, it must feel even longer for my daughter, am I right? Ten hours in daycare? Too long. Best to suprise her with an early pick-up, especially since she had seemed so sad this morning.
'Come get me early today, Mommy...'
Whatever.
It is hard for me separate, in my mind, the child who clings to me at 6:45 in the morning at the daycare door, with the child who apparently bounces back the moment I walk out the door and forgets her mother even exists. This is a good thing, believe me, I know. Zoey goes to an amazing daycare, full of teachers who plan exciting activities for all their kids, and I couldn't be more grateful for this. And even though her day is often filled with creating rocket ships out of construction paper and playing soccer and convincing her friend Blake to dress up with her and pretend they are going to a wedding, Zoey is always thrilled to see me when I arrive to pick her up. And, I figured, she would be even more excited to see Mommy arrive early after clinging desperately to her neck and begging her not to leave earlier in the morning.
So, I zip across the street to daycare at 3:45 and find Zoey out on the playground with her class. After chatting with Ms. Mandi and signing off on Zoey's latest Ouch Report, Zoey ran up to me and seemed happy as a clam that I was there to take her home...EARLY. We collected her things from her cubby and as we were heading back upstairs, she suddenly stopped.
'Mommy! The bounce house! I didn't get my turn!'
Bounce house? Yes. Turns out the daycare had rented an enormous bounce house to occupy most of the space in the gym, and each class was taking it's turn bouncing to their heart's content. Ms. Mandi's class hadn't taken their turn yet, and here comes Zoey's mom, showing up all EARLY and ruining the FUN.
She proceeded to cry as though her heart was breaking all the way home, gigantic tears and everything, grieving the loss of her turn on the bounce house. There are few things in this world Zoey loves more than bounce houses, maybe not even Mommy. No amount of trying to sound excited about taking a walk to the library and hey, Mommy came to get you early so we could hang out together, right?? was making her feel better. Because it was a bounce house, Mommy! And my turn! I didn't get my turn!
I suppose this is what it means to feel as though you will never win.
We did walk to the library and we also went swimming at the Y after dinner. She stopped talking about the freaking bounce house about two hours after we got home. I have made yet another mental note to keep in mind that my child does not ever, ever sit at daycare wishing for Mommy to come back. This is a healthy sign, one that is easily forgotten by a guilt-stricken mother, but next time I swear to you that if I have time to go to the gym after work, I will. Lord knows what kind of fun I'd be interrupting if I showed up early to get her...that 6:45 a.m. request to 'come get me early, Mommy!' being long forgotten.
2 comments:
With kids you just never can win, good try on your part though!
This is me every day, man. Every day. In the mornings it's "But I want to go to work with you, so you won't be lonely! I want to STAY HOME." At night it's screams and hiding because of too much fun. Kids. They really know how to live in the moment, huh? And moms.....can't win for trying. :)
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