Hey, want to know what's more lame than going to bed at 8:30 on a Saturday night? Setting your clock back the following morning and realizing you actually went to bed at 7:30! Like an old person!
See, it would be one thing if I were normally a very hip and trendy person who typically stayed up until at least 10:00 every night, and just this once needed an opportunity to replenish her sleep bank. The type of person who has a social life and knows where the fun is happening on a Saturday night. I am not this person. On a typical Friday night you can find me at the local Redbox, renting the latest Dora movie, or at home mopping my bathroom floor. And, as these two activities will completely wear me out, I will typically be in bed sometime around, oh, 9:30, which is so totally late for me and look how exciting I am!
Adding to the lame factor yesterday was the Killer Respiratory Virus that finished sweeping through my house, claiming me as it's last victim. I talked to my mom on the phone yesterday morning, when I was still pretending I was going to carry on with my normal Saturday routine instead of crawling back in to bed and dying, and she promptly hung up with me and called my aunt to come pick up Zoey. And please hurry, I can hear her adding, because Zoey has had enough trauma in her life this year, and do we really need her to witness her mother dying a slow, tortured death as her lungs collapse and expel themselves through her nostrils? No. No we don't.
(I think we can all pause here and thank the uinverse that I am rarely stricken with whatever respiratory bug comes along, as it clearly makes me a wee bit melodramatic.)
Anyway. My aunt came to retrieve Zoey and I spent an additional four hours in bed. Then I got up, went to the store for milk, and was so completely exhausted from the experience that Zoey and I crawled in to bed together at 8:00. Or, 7:00, really. LAME.
I hate losing an entire day to being sick, especially a Saturday. Now I have to play catch-up all day! Winco shopping, a trip to Target, am I even going to make it to yoga? Would anyone want me to join them in yoga class anyway? And don't even talk to me about the laundry that is piling up...I managed to empty the dishwasher yesterday evening and that was monumental.
So, here's the bonus! When you go to bed at 7 p.m. you bounce out of bed at 6 a.m. ready to attack the world! Sort of! I stripped the bed of all virus-ridden linen, which is currently cycling through the washing machine. Next I plan to Lysol every door handle and non-porous surface in the house, and that's just while we bide our time waiting for Target to open. Does anyone know what time that might be?
Standing in front of Target with your preschooler, waiting for it to open on a Sunday morning: also lame. Welcome to my life.
2 comments:
Target opens at 8:00. I know this because I too am LAME!! In fact, when Colt was really tiny and I was still mall walking my fat off, I used to do a few laps in the mall (which opens much earlier, like 5am for the nutso mall walkers) and then do my Target shopping. So, you're not lame - you're resourceful!! ;)
I wouldn't call it lame. You're a single mom who works full-time and has an active preschooler. So of course, you take what you can get!! I'd call you an opportunist. :)
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