Fake flowers, anyone?

Early morning post today!

Because Zoey was up at 5:20 this morning with another litany of requests (hot milk! kitty cat blanky! my teeth hurt--I need medicine!) I decided to skip crawling back in to bed for an extra 20 minutes of shut-eye and just hopped in the shower instead. And I have to say, it's nice to be up before everyone else in the house. It's quiet, I have my cofffee, AND my dishwasher has already been unloaded. Bonus.

I'm sitting here watching the sun come up over our backyard and wondering about whoever it was that lived here before us. I know it was the original owners of this lovely, heavily-draped and carpeted home, and that they built it custom to suit their tastes (am still incredibly thankful that their taste included a laundry chute). Apparently, the Mrs. was a master gardener as well, specializing in growing dahlias. Our house sits on a 0.9 acre lot, and the backyard appears to go on forever. I can see a future of many, many barbeques, parties, maybe weddings even, happening out in that yard.

Which is why I'm so confused about what we found out in the yard yesterday. Being the first nice stretch of weather since we've arrived in Puyallup, we finally had a chance to get outside and de-ugly the OUTSIDE of the house yesterday. (And really? We just scratched the surface.) I attacked the front porch on Saturday, throwing out a pot of fake plastic pink flowers and removing sheets of thin, vinyl plastic from the amber-glass windows flanking the front door. I mean, amber glass kind of went out with the 70's, but were they thinking that covering it with dark Saran Wrap hid it completely, or perhaps enhanced the look? Very confusing.

And then we hit the backyard on Sunday. Wow. I hadn't even noticed before the ugly plastic flowers hanging on the side of the shed. (Interesting, since you have a pretty good view of the shed from the kitchen window.) There were long, black plastic vinyl tubes with fake flowers poking out the sides. There were pots and pots of fake flowers. Wind chimes that had to be circa 1964. Ugly yard decor in the garden--plastic sunflowers, plastic plants, everything but a yard gnome, really.

But the best find came when we cleared off the downstairs back porch--I noticed what looked like a HUGE condom swirling in the breeze right off the laundry room. On closer inspection, I realized it was half a pair of ladies nylons, amputated below the knee, attached to the spout (is that the correct term?) where the clothes dryer vents to the outside. A nylon condom to catch lint! Brilliant, but...a little weird looking. We'll have to figure out a way to cover that up.

So, as our pile of things awaiting a trip to the dump grew higher and higher, I was wondering what had happened to the couple who lived here previously. I think I heard that the Mr. had passed away, and I'm guessing the Master Gardner Mrs. had to give the place up. But was she going senile before she left? Why all the plastic plants, when you're a master gardner?

I am thankful that we have about 25 years to work on fixing this house (inside AND out!) to our tastes before Zoey might be of the age when a backyard wedding seems like a fun idea.