So, on Wednesday morning, at 2 a.m., Zoey found her way in to our bedroom to tell me she was "too hot" and her tummy hurt.
Hello, 102 degree fever.
I am only somewhat embarrassed to admit that my first thought was 'Well, shit, there goes my Thursday'.
Because today was going to be my day to myself. An extra day off work, how often does that happen?? And Zoey already scheduled to go to daycare...finally, a day to Accomplish Things, Get Everything Organized, etc.
Does a mother having scheduled time for herself actually induce fevers and other childhood illnesses, you think?
Needless to say, working all day Wednesday was a challenge. Zoey announced after crawling in to bed post-Tylenol that she could only sleep "on Mommy's tummy". Anyone ever try to get a good night's rest with 37 pounds of potentially nauseous toddler resting on your belly? No?
So yeah. Work. I believe it's been well documented here that my threshold of patience for people who don't follow directions well is minimal at best. A night of no sleep did nothing to improve this outlook, and seriously, SOMEBODY LET THE STUPID PEOPLE OUT ON WEDNESDAY. Like, dropped a busload of them at our door. We had our fair share of oh-I-didn't-know-I-couldn't-eat-last-nights, a lady who drank her prep TWO DAYS AGO and wanted to know, should she come in anyway or reschedule her appointment?, and a real winner who decided he just didn't want to purchase the prep at the pharmacy, so he put himself on a clear liquid diet for two days and gave himself four enemas the morning of the procedure. Points for creativity, but you still get sent back to the starting gates for INVENTING YOUR OWN COLONOSCOPY PREP. Luckily, I was working with Dr. Smartass all day, and as it turns out, our personalities match up quite nicely. We discussed the ins and outs of concepts like Evolution and Darwin, while washing bucket after bucket of sludge from one endless colon after another.
So, when Genius McSmartypants walked in the door for his colonoscopy...A FULL 48 HOURS EARLIER THAN SCHEDULED, Dr. Smartass took one look at me and was all "Whoa, are you about to blow an aneurysm?"
Maybe.
In my own defense, this final dose of stupidity that earned us an extra hour of work occurred right around 2 p.m. and I had just had it. I was at work when I really wanted to be at home with my sick kid. I was f***ing tired and had been on my feet non-stop since 7 a.m. And my day to myself--the day I had been looking forward to all week--was slowly slipping away and there was nothing I could do about it. As I contemplated accomplishing everything on my to-do list with a half-sized, crummy-feeling sidekick who wants nothing more than to BE part of my body, I wanted to cry.
But if you think I was about to cry in front of Dr. Smartass, think again. Like I need to spend the rest of my career living THAT down.
Motherhood has taught me the following three things more than any other experience I've had in life:
1. Suck it up
2. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish in the span of your child's two-hour nap
3. When the going gets tough, at least get your hair cut
So, in the end, I pulled it all together. I am happy to report that now, at 10 p.m., I am packed and ready for Zoey and I to leave tomorrow for Bellingham, organized and ready for Rikki's baby shower I'm hosting on Saturday (hooray!), my laundry is caught up, and, due to the fact that my grandmother is a savior and was willing to come sit with my not-so-sick-today daughter, my hair HAS been cut. (What is it about a haircut that really boosts a woman's outlook on life, anyway?)
And when Zoey woke up this morning and asked hopefully "You stay home with me today, Mommy?", I was reminded (gently, yet again) how important I am to this small person who so very much wants to be with her Mommy all the time. Which made losing my Day To Myself seem (almost) (pretty much) worth it.
4 comments:
Um. I think we're on the same haircut schedule. Hahaha.
Also, I almost died laughing to the guy who invented his own prep. I didn't think that really happened. I was METICULOUS about mine. Seriously. There are those of us out there who start on the MINUTE that little sheet says to start, and we go to bed hungry.
Can I just say that I lost 7 lbs. overnight during my colonoscopy? I woke up and walked around and was like..."Whoa, I feel like my college self. Except hungrier. and less hung over." Wait...did I say that?
You, my friend, get to see the skinniest version of everyone you come across. Kind of interesting, no?
You make me laugh, thanks for that!! And just so you know I try to accomplish absolutely nothing during the kids naps besides surfing the web and watching "my" shows and perhaps eating candy. Try it, you might like it!! And I wish I was there to be a part of Rikki's shower, give her a hug from me!
Okay, so that was totally hilarious. It amazes me how you are so much like your mother - well, at least in the haircut department! Life can deal us some pretty crummy hits but there is nothing so low as an overgrown hair day and no way to rectify it!
And, yes, someday in the next 12 to 14 years, Zoey will give you the brush-off, perhaps in the car in the drop off line of the middle school parking lot...and a little tear will come to your eye that she won't see, but she'll know you love her more than anything else in life and I'll just bet you'll get a pretty big hug at the end of that day!
And your hair looked FANTASTIC!! I've been thinking about a haircut myself, but I've heard you shouldn't do that when you're pregnant. There's nothing that accentuates an already roundish face better than a short bob and bangs! ;)
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