5:10: Roll out of bed. Slooooowly stumble to coffee pot. Oh, glorious coffee pot, I did not even hear your annoying beeps this morning.
5:18: Step out of shower. Hear Zoey screaming in bedroom.
5:19: Wet. Towel. Kitty litter stuck to my damp foot? Yes. Awesome.
5:21: 'Mommy...I peed in your bed.' Am too tired and too struck by the mortified look on my daughter's face to even feel fazed by this kink in my morning routine. Assess damage.
5:23: How did she manage to saturate everything belonging to me, and nothing belonging to her, save her brand new monkey jammies? Seriously. Her blanket and puppy dog? Spared. My down comforter? Headed to the cleaners.
5:24: Zoey in bath tub. I am finally dressed. Hair, which is currently cut short and adorably spiky, is beginning to dry in a fashion resembling a cotton ball.
5:27: Zoey out of tub. Begins to cry when I tell her it's time to get dressed. Would prefer clean, dry jammies instead. Leave her to calm down in the bathroom.
5:30: Fumbling with buttons on duvet cover. Fingers coated in urine. Sheets in washing machine. Zoey still crying.
5:32: Crying. More crying.
5:35: Distract Zoey by telling her the cat is currently stalking a crane fly, which delights her to the point she does not notice I have slipped her Dora underpants and play clothes on already. She runs off to check on Henry.
5:36: Pick up bathroom. Mop up bath water, sweep up cat litter.
5:37: Assemble remaining urine-soaked bedding in wet heap on kitchen floor. Start Clifford DVD for Zoey, a rare treat on a work/school morning. (Feel free to praise my fine use of the DVD player as a babysitter in the comments section.)
5:43: Assess damage done to mattress. Notice lack of upholstery cleanser in my cleaning-tool repertoire. Settle for dousing the mattress in Shout! and contemplate how one small child can hold enough urine in her bladder to soak a Montana-sized stain in to my bedding. Seriously contemplate a plastic sheet for my grown up bed.
5:50: Oh God. My hair.
5:51: Too late. I'm going out looking like a Q-Tip today, as there is (clearly) no time to douse my head and start over (unless I'd like to douse it in pee, of which there is plenty floating around).
5:55: Kix for Zoey, Cheerios for me. Wash coffee pot. Frantically throw together lunch for myself and something resembling the remainder of my breakfast.
6:05: Load soaked comforter, lunch bag, commuter mug in to car.
6:10: Turn off Clifford. Shoes. Rain coat. Zoey crying for me to please carry her. Locate blanket and puppy dog.
6:25: Out the door.
6:50: Fall in to break room chair at work. I have to spend 10 hours here? Working? Haven't I already worked a ten hour shift?
7 comments:
Not that it'll make you feel any better, but it took us 2 days to drive across HALF of Montana in the RV. I'm just saying. That's a lot of pee!! ;)
I don't know how you do it, seriously you are amazing!
Oh Amy....I'm sorry to hear about it. And don't ever feel guilty about turning on the DVD player in the AM so you can get ready. If I didn't do that with Will, I'd NEVER get to work!
Holy earliest time to wake up ever. When I was in high school I had a church class before school which required me being up at about 5 am, 4:30 after I got the bad perm and had to straighten my hair every day. I think I probably need to try to get up before Cy if I'll ever get half the stuff done that I need to. It's soooooo haarrdddd.
dude. your ability to dash from one thing to the other is impressive. i am thankful, today, for cats and dvd players.
Not even kidding, we have a plastic sheet on our bed. It's a 'mattress protector' so it doesn't feel gross like the kids' plastic sheets, but I was d-o-n-e done with letting a wet mattress dry with baking soda and bac-out. It saves me SO much grief. You're amazing!
Oh, honey - when you and your sisters started having children I put mattress protectors on all of the beds in our house - and yes, they do come in king size! Always good to have a back-up plan for those adorable little grandchildren - and see, you didn't even know you were sleeping on one all of these years!
Love you - Mom
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