A Commencement Address from a Graduate's Wife

On this, the day of our husband's graduation from chiropractic college, I would like to take some time to recognize the REAL force that is driving these new members of the chiropractic profession.

I see you all out there--the tired, the haggard, the ones chasing perfectly-dressed toddlers in the back of the auditorium, hoping to catch a glimpse of your loved one as he walks across that stage. You are the one who, just three hours ago, was desperately cursing the contents of your wardrobe...because nothing fits you anymore (at least, not the way it did a year ago, or three years ago, or five years ago).

We are the women who listened to the intricate details of organic chemistry, described ad nauseum, and feigned interest despite the fact that we were lost after the opening sentence. We moved from all over the country to support our husbands in their pursuit of a chiropractic education, despite the fact that we had no friends, no job, and no support in this new environment. We comforted them when they were just a LITTLE bit sad that somebody's tragic loss meant that they were able to participate in cadaver lab. (We also tolerated the horrid smell of formaldehyde that followed them home each and every time they participated in cadaver lab.)

Perhaps you started out this adventure with children, perhaps you did not. Perhaps, like me, you got pregnant in March, with a due date of December 13...which meant not only the stress of delivering your first child very close to Christmas, but the added trouble of what to do if you delivered in the middle of your husband's finals week.

And, if you are at all like me, you spent many a night with a brand-new baby JUST on the verge of beating your husband senseless because, for the 5th night in a row, he has begged out of getting up with the baby at 2 a.m. because he "has to be in class" early the next morning. (Again, if you are at all like me, you often wished you could just dispose of your husband during finals week and have him returned to you, refreshed and ready to give you a much-needed break, when the tests were completed.)

We have survived endless rounds of boards, the intense studying leading UP TO the boards, and (for me) the inevitable fact that boards will always fall on the weekend I am on call for the hospital. I have begged, pleaded and bribed doctors not to call me in at ungodly hours of the day and night during boards, due to lack of childcare and the fact that I am married to a man who is mentally and physically checked out during these periods of time when his knowledge is being tested so greatly.

As graduation has loomed closer, we have also endured the indecision and uncertainty on our husbands' part, as to what they will specifically be doing when they graduate from school. Perhaps you were the loving, supportive wife who was gentle and kind as her husband explored the many avenues of practice that are available to a new graduate. Perhaps you are like me, and took the opportunity to explain EXACTLY what he would be doing when he finished school: getting a job, supporting your family, and providing you, his wife, with the experience of not having to budget for every diaper and jug of apple juice purchased.

And so, on this, OUR day of graduation, we will watch with enormous pride and immense happiness as our loved ones graduate from school. Partly because we know what great people they will become, but mostly because we know that our days of getting the shit end of the stick are limited...we are, after all, married to doctors now. Doctors who will be making money.

And that means I can quit my horrible job very, very soon.

And get another one, so we can start paying off his student loans.